How a KFC advert ruined my coming out

Families and fried chicken. What more do you need?

I’m almost everything my mum and dad wanted me to be. I came so close, and yet I’m so far. I don’t own a car or a home, I not socially conservative like they areā€”and recently I told them I’m gay.

Uh oh. Well, they had it coming. And they probably knew they had it coming. I haven’t ever had a partner and have basically played the role of an asexual person. So they must have suspected something…

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It’s about time I manned up and got a wristwatch

Wristwatch by Guy Sie via Flickr
Wristwatch by Guy Sie via Flickr

Around the time my last watch began to lose the hour and fail even with new batteries I realised I didn’t really need it anyway. I carry my phone with me everywhere, and it tells the time perfectly. I’m at a desk most of the day: the time is shown on my computer screen and a wall nearby. The street is filled with people carrying the time who would be happy to help me if I needed to know it. I don’t need to wear the time on my own wrist too.

Some people like to wear a watch as an item of jewellery. They like the design and the things it says about them. I’m not really bothered. Some watches are handsome, but a watch is just an extra bit hanging off me that I don’t need, like the clumps of hair that grow out of my nose. I just get rid of them.

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